Managing Conflict Exam Prep Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Managing Conflict

Test Bank

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 1

1) Effective communicators realize that although it’s impossible to __________conflict, there are ways to __________ it effectively.

Feedback: Although conflict cannot be eliminated,its skillful management can open the door to healthier, stronger, and more satisfying relationships, as well as to increased mental and physical health.

Page reference: 12 Managing Conflict (Introduction)

a.eliminate; manage

b.manage; eliminate

c.avoid; enhance

d.enhance; avoid

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 2

2) You resent doing most of the housework, but your spouse assumes you enjoy it because you never complain. Which element of conflict of is absent in this scenario?

Feedback: The definition of conflict requires that all involved know that some disagreement exists.

Page reference: 12.1.1 Expressed Struggle

a.Interdependence

b.Expressed struggle

c.Inevitability

d.Animosity

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 3

3) The silent treatment is an example of which characteristic of conflict?

Feedback: A struggle that constitutes conflict must be expressed, either verbally or, in the case of the silent treatment, nonverbally.

Page reference: 12.1.1 Expressed Struggle

a.Incompatible goals

b.Expressed struggle

c.Interdependence

d.Scarce resources

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 4

4) You would like to avoid working with a colleague you find difficult but can’t because you’re in the same research unit. This reflects which characteristic of conflict?

Feedback: However antagonistic they might feel, the people in a conflict are connected.

Page reference: 12.1.2 Interdependence

a.An expressed struggle

b.Incompatible goals

c.Inevitability

d.Interdependence

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 5

5) When people fail to see mutually satisfying answers to their problems, they have __________.

Feedback: As long as people perceivetheir goals to be mutually exclusive, the conflict is real.

Page reference: 12.1.3 Perceived Incompatible Goals

a.expressed struggle

b.perceived incompatible goals

c.inevitability

d.interdependence

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 6

6) “So many friends, so little time” expresses the tension you experience when trying to juggle these various commitments. This reflects which element of conflict?

Feedback: Time, affection, money, and space are all examples of valued and often scarce commodities that contribute to conflict.

Page reference: 12.1.4 Perceived Scarce Resources

a.Inevitabilities

b.Expressed struggles

c.Perceived incompatible goals

d.Perceived scarce resources

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 7

7) According to research, how many conflicts do we experience with friends?

Feedback: Conflicts with friends are not uncommon, with an average of one or two disagreements a day.

Page reference: 12.1.5 Inevitability

a.One or two a day

b. One or two a week

c.One or two a month

d.One or two a year

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 8

8) __________ seem to be based on the assumption that people who love each other know each other’s thoughts without a word being said.

Feedback: Some communicators approach conflicts with mind-reading expectations, assuming their partners will know why they’re upset, even if they haven’t explained themselves.

Page reference: 12.1.5 Inevitability

a.Escalatory spirals

b.Conflict rituals

c.Serial arguments

d.Mind-reading expectations

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 9

9) What has research about conflict established?

Feedback: Happy couples may argue vigorously but in ways that address conflict effectively, which includes admitting mistakes.

Page reference: 12.1.5 Inevitability

a.Unhappy couples listen carefully.

b.Happy couples use evaluative “you” language.

c.Happy couples are willing to admit their mistakes.

d.Unhappy couples focus on each other’s relational messages.

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 10

10) Your arguments with your spouse revolve around justifying your own positions rather than solving problems or understanding the other’s perspective. Like many unhappy couples, you have little or no __________ for each other.

Feedback: Unhappy couples have little or no empathy for each other.

Page reference: 12.1.5 Inevitability

a.affection

b. empathy

c.respect

d.appreciation

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 11

11) In terms of conflict styles, ghosting can be an act of passive aggression or an act of __________.

Feedback: The ultimate silent treatment, ghosting can be an act of passive aggression or avoidance; in either case, it’s painful for the person being ghosted.

Page reference: 12.2.1 Avoidance (Lose-Lose)

a.competition

b.avoidance

c.direct aggression

d.accommodation

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 12

12) You tell your roommate, “I want to talk about how your friends come over all the time, make a lot of noise, eat our food, and leave a mess.” He responds by crossing the hall to visit one of these friends who also lives in your apartment building. Your roommate is exhibiting which conflict style in this situation?

Feedback: Avoidance generally reflects a pessimistic attitude about conflict. This occurs when people choose not to confront an issue directly.

Page reference: 12.2.1 Avoidance (Lose-Lose)

a.Avoidance

b.Competition

c.Direct aggression

d.Accommodation

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 13

13) “Taking one for the team” or “losing the battle to win the war” are adages that reflect which approach to conflict?

Feedback: Accommodation occurs when we entirely give in to others rather than asserting our own point of view. Accommodators have low concern for themselves and high concern for others, resulting in lose-win, “we’ll do it your way” outcomes.

Page reference: 12.2.2 Accommodation (Lose-Win)

a.Accommodation

b.Collaboration

c.Avoidance

d.Competition

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 14

14) When your manager asks if you will work overtime on the weekend, you reply: “You should ask David instead. He’s never busy on the weekend, and I have young children at home to care for.” Your response reflects which conflict style?

Feedback: Seeking to resolve conflict “my way,” competition is a win-lose approach to conflict that involves high concern for self and low concern for others.

Page reference: 12.2.3 Competition (Win-Lose)

a.Accommodation

b.Collaboration

c.Avoidance

d.Competition

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 15

15) Crazymaking is associated with which conflict style?

Feedback: Passive aggression can take the form of “crazymaking”—tactics designed to punish another person without direct confrontation.

Page reference: 12.2.3 Competition (Win-Lose)

a.Avoidance

b.Competition

c.Passive aggression

d.Direct aggression

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 16

16) Teasing and threats are both types of ____________.

Feedback: Communicators who engage in direct aggression attack the position and dignity of the receiver.

Page reference: 12.2.3 Competition (Win-Lose)

a.collaboration

b.direct aggression

c.passive aggression

d.avoidance

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 17

17) After calling your coworker a slacker, you then dismiss this deliberate criticism by saying, “Just kidding.” You are using what kind of conflict style in this instance?

Feedback: Passive aggression occurs when a communicator expresses dissatisfaction indirectly. This style allows the person who employs it to deny any conflict exists.

Page reference: 12.2.3 Competition (Win-Lose)

a.Passive aggression

b.Direct aggression

c.Avoidance

d.Competition

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 18

18) Which approach enjoys a positive reputation that it may not deserve?

Feedback: Compromise enjoys a dubiously positive reputation. Often promoted as “a sacred moral good,” it typically satisfies neither side and often leads to lose-lose outcomes.

Page reference: 12.2.4 Compromise

a.Competition

b.Compromise

c.Accommodation

d.Collaboration

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 19

19) As the team leader for a challenging sales pitch at your company, you realize that a relatively minor and straightforward decision regarding the project needs to be made in an hour. Which conflict style would be LEAST advisable for you to pursue in this instance?

Feedback: Collaboration has many advantages but is not always appropriate or even possible. This approach is time-consuming and unnecessary if the decision is neither serious nor would benefit from brainstorming and creativity.

Page reference: 12.2.5 Collaboration

a.Accommodation

b.Competition

c.Compromise

d.Collaboration

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 20

20) You want steak for dinner, but your romantic partner wants seafood. You say, “OK. Let’s go to Outback, where they serve both.” You are demonstrating which conflict style?

Feedback: A win-win solution to conflict, collaboration demonstrates a high degree of concern for both self and others.

Page reference: 12.2.5 Collaboration

a.Competition

b.Compromise

c.Collaboration

d.Accommodation

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 21

21) Conflict happens within __________, and its character is usually determined by the way all the people involved interact.

Feedback: Conflict isn’t just a matter of individual choice; it depends on relational systems and interactions.

Page reference: 12.3.1 Complementary and Symmetrical Conflict

a.relational systems

b.symmetrical networks

c.complementary cohorts

d.media silos

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 22

22) Partners who use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors exhibit which conflict style?

Feedback: In complementary conflict, the partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors.

Page reference: 12.3.1 Complementary and Symmetrical Conflict

a.Parallel

b.Symmetrical

c.Complementary

d.Assertive

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 23

23) Since Cassie, your best friend, has been dating Kris, she has been skipping classes, and her grades are suffering. You calmly yet assertively express your concerns to Cassie, who tells you to mind her own business. This is an example of which approach to conflict?

Feedback: You and Cassie are taking different approaches to conflict, the end result being destructive to your relationship.

Page reference: 12.3.1 Complementary and Symmetrical Conflict

a.Destructive symmetrical

b.Constructive symmetrical

c.Destructive complementary

d.Constructive complementary

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 24

24) What can occur when both partners treat one another with matching hostility, one threat and insult leading to another?

Feedback: If both partners treat each other with matching hostility, threats and insults can degenerate in an escalatory spiral, a type of destructively symmetrical communication.

Page reference: 12.3.1 Complementary and Symmetrical Conflict

a.Escalatory spiral

b.De-escalatory spiral

c.Complementary conflict

d.Serial argument

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 25

25) Angry exclamations such as “We’ve been down this road a dozen times!” are typical of which type of argument?

Feedback: Serial arguments are repetitive conflicts about the same issue.

Page reference: 12.3.2 Conflict in Relational Systems

a.De-escalatory spirals

b.Passive aggression

c.Conflict rituals

d.Serial arguments

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 26

26) Partners who seek which kind of outcome are more likely to listen to each other and less likely to be hostile, ultimately leading to less stress and anger?

Feedback: Results can be positive when both partners are equally involved and willing to talk about a chronic issue. Positive expectations about a win-win outcome also help:

Page reference: 12.3.2 Conflict in Relational Systems

a.Lose-Lose

b.Win-Win

c.Win-Lose

d.Lose-Won

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 27

27) “Yet another one of your brilliant ideas,” you remark sarcastically while rolling your eyes at your spouse. Which of Gottman’s “four horsemen of the apocalypse” does this response communicate?

Feedback: A contemptuous comment belittles and demeans. It can take the form of name-calling putdowns (“You’re a real jerk”) or sarcastic barbs (“Oh, that was brilliant”). Contempt can also be communicated nonverbally through dramatic eye rolls or disgusted sighs.

Page reference: 12.3.3 Toxic Conflict: The “Four Horsemen”

a.Criticism

b.Contempt

c.Stonewalling

d.Defensiveness

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 28

28) Which of Gottman’s “four horsemen of the apocalypse” sends a disconfirming “you don’t matter” message to the other person?

Feedback: Stonewalling occurs when one person in a relationship withdraws from the interaction, shutting down dialogue—and any chance of resolving the problem in a mutually satisfactory way.

Page reference: 12.3.3 Toxic Conflict: The “Four Horsemen”

a.Criticism

b.Contempt

c.Stonewalling

d.Defensiveness

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 29

29) When criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling feed off one another, they can develop into destructive __________.

Feedback: Conflict rituals areunacknowledged but very real repeating patterns of interlocking behavior that are problematic when they become the only way relational partners handle their conflicts.

Page reference: 12.3.4 Conflict Rituals

a.complementary conflicts

b.symmetrical conflicts

c.compromises

d.conflict rituals

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 30

30) Which statement is TRUE about taking communication personally (TCP)?

Feedback: Research indicates that people typically experience more TCP in some relationships than in others.

Page reference: 12.3.4 Conflict Rituals

a.Taking conflict personally is less an individual trait than a relational one.

b.If criticism and contempt are common in your relational exchanges, you are likely to take conflict less personally.

c.TCP leads to less satisfaction in a relationship.

d.Less satisfaction in a relationship leads to TCP.

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 31

31) How many steps are featured in the comprehensive approach to conflict management described in the textbook?

Feedback: The collaborative approach to conflict though win-win problem solving can be enacted through a seven-step approach.

Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice

a.4

b.5

c.6

d.7

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 32

32) When defining the problem, you should explore both the apparent content of your dissatisfaction and the __________ issues that may lurk behind it.

Feedback: Because conflict involves interdependence and interaction, it’s important to consider relational issues in addition to your own.

Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice

a.cognitive

b.relational

c.theoretical

d.psychological

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 33

33) In a tense situation, building rapport, establishing common ground, and perhaps picking up information are the goals of which activity?

Feedback: In tense situations, researchers recommend beginning with what they call ritual sharing, preliminary, casual conversation whose goals are building rapport, establishing common ground, and perhaps picking up information.

Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice

a.Hyperpersonal communication

b. Ritual sharing

c.Multimodality

d.Metacommunication

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 34

34) “If I understand your correctly, you’re saying that texts and calls are just a sign of care and concern, and they’re not an attempt to monitor me.” This statement is likely to occur at which stage of the seven-step process for conflict management?

Feedback: When listening to the other person’s needs, paraphrasing is recommended both to make sure the other person has been heard and to draw out additional information.

Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice

a.Share your needs with the other person.

b.Implement the solution.

c.Define your needs

d.Listen to the other person’s needs.

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 35

35) “Ideas are not personal property” is a rule of which activity?

Feedback: With brainstorming, when one person makes a suggestion, the other should feel free to suggest another solution that builds on or modifies the original one.

Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice

a.Compromising

b. Accommodating

c.Brainstorming

d.Serial arguments

Type: multiple choice question

Title: Chapter 12 Question 36

36) For greater protection and control, researchers recommend which communication channel when managing conflict with a coworker?

Feedback: Researchers have learned that discussing conflicts via email can lead to better outcomes than face-to-face conversations. Email can be a strategic choice that affords the participants both protection and control.

Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice

a.Email

b. Face-to-face

c.Phone

d.Texting

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 37

37) Whatever forms they may take, all interpersonal conflicts share certain features.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.1 What Is Conflict?

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 38

38) An expressed struggle is one that must be communicated verbally.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.1.1 Expressed Struggle

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 39

39) Many conflicts remain unresolved because the people involved accept their interdependence.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.1.2 Interdependence

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 40

40) As long as people perceive their goals to be mutually exclusive, the conflict is real.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.1.3 Perceived Incompatible Goals

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 41

41) With training, it is possible to avoid conflicts.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.1.5 Inevitability

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 42

42) Ghosting can be a reasonable response when leaving an abusive relationship.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.2.1 Avoidance (Lose-Lose) a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 43

43) In low-context, individualistic cultures (such as that of the United States), avoidance and accommodation are often viewed positively.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.2.2 Accommodation (Lose-Win)

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 44

44) A win-lose conflict style can have a high relational cost—especially when the loser is a close friend or loved one.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.2.3 Competition (Win-Lose)

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 45

45) Compromising usually leads to win-win outcomes.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.2.4 Compromise

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 46

46) A conflict style is a personality trait that carries across all situations.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.2.6 Which Style to Use?

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 47

47) Symmetrical approaches to conflict create problems, while complementary approaches do not.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.3.1 Complementary and Symmetrical Conflict

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 48

48) Serial arguments are more likely than nonrecurring ones to use hostile communication.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.3.2 Serial Arguments

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 49

49) Critical, contemptuous communicators have an increased risk of cardiovascular problems such as high blood pressure and chest pain.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.3.3 Toxic Communication: The “Four Horsemen”

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 50

50) When brainstorming, it’s best to prohibit criticism of any idea, no matter how outlandish it may sound.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice

a. True

b. False

Type: true-false

Title: Chapter 10 Question 51

51) The final step in the seven-step approach to conflict management is implementing the solution.

Feedback: Type general feedback here (maximum of 1000 characters (including spaces))

Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice

a. True

b. False

Type: essay/short answer question

Title: Chapter 10 Question 52

52) Define conflict.

Feedback: Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals.

Page reference:12.1 What Is Conflict?

Type: essay/short answer question

Title: Chapter 10 Question 53

53) When is avoidance the best approach to conflict?

Feedback: You might choose to avoid certain topics or situations if the risk of speaking up is too great, such as getting fired from a job you can’t afford to lose, being humiliated in public, or even suffering physical harm. You might also avoid a conflict if the relationship it involves isn’t worth the effort. Even in close relationships, avoidance may be the best strategy if the issue is temporary or minor.

Page reference:12.2.1 Avoidance

Type: essay/short answer question

Title: Chapter 10 Question 54

54) When is collaboration NOT the best approach to conflict?

Feedback: When conflict decisions need to be made quickly, collaborative problem solving can be quite time-consuming, Moreover, many conflicts are about relatively minor issues that don’t call for the creativity and brainstorming of collaboration.

Page reference: 12.2.5 Conflict Styles

Type: essay/short answer question

Title: Chapter 10 Question 55

55) Which 3 broad factors should you consider when choosing a conflict management style?

Feedback: You should consider the situation, the other person, and your goals when selecting a method of conflict resolution.

Page reference: 12.2.6 Which Style to Use?

Type: essay/short answer question

Title: Chapter 10 Question 56

56) How does complementary conflict differ from symmetrical conflict?

Feedback: In complementary conflict, the partners use different but mutually reinforcing behaviors. In symmetrical conflict, both people use the same tactics. Either pattern can be constructive or destructive.

Page reference: 12.3.1 Complementary and Symmetrical Conflict

Type: essay/short answer question

Title: Chapter 10 Question 57

57) What are 3 sources of serial arguments?

Feedback: Problematic behaviors, personality characteristics, and communication styles and practices are common sources of serial arguments.

Page reference: 12.3.2 Serial Arguments

Title: Chapter 10 Question 58

58) What are the advantages of email over face-to-face communication when managing conflict at work?

Feedback: The asynchronous nature of email gives communicators a chance to craft and edit their messages, choosing words and phrasing carefully. It also affords recipients an opportunity to think about the message rather than feeling pressured to respond on the spot. They don’t have to worry about their own nonverbal behaviors (frowning, blushing, eyerolling), or the nonverbal reactions of the other person. Finally, e-messages leave a record of interactions that provides a measure of accountability.

Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice

Type: essay/short answer question

Title: Chapter 10 Question 59

59) Describe the 5 different approaches to conflict.

Feedback:

• Avoidance (Lose-Lose) occurs when people choose not to confront an issue directly. It can be physical (steering clear of a friend after having an argument) or conversational (changing the topic, joking, or denying that a problem exists). Avoiders have a low concern both for their own needs and for the interests of the other person, who is also likely to suffer from unaddressed issues Ghosting involves ending a relationship by cutting off all contact and ignoring the former partner’s attempts to reach out.
• Accommodation (Lose-Win) occurs when we entirely give in to others rather than asserting our own point of view. Accommodators have low concern for themselves and high concern for others, resulting in “we’ll do it your way” outcomes.
• Competition (Win-Lose) is the flip side of accommodation. Competitors have high concern for self and low concern for others, seeking to resolve conflicts “my way.” Passive aggression occurs when a communicator expresses dissatisfaction in a disguised manner and can take the form of “crazymaking.” Direct aggression involves attacks on someone’s competence or character, swearing, teasing, ridicule, nonverbal emblems (e.g., “the finger”), and threats.
• Compromise gives both people at least some of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals. People usually settle for a compromise when it seems that partial satisfaction is the best they can hope for.
• Collaboration (Win-Win) seeks a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved. Collaborators have a high degree of concern for both self and others, with the goal of solving problems not “my way” or “your way” but “our way.”
• Page reference:12.2 Conflict Styles

Type: essay/short answer question

Title: Chapter 10 Question 60

60) Describe John Gottman’s “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” and provide an example of each.

Feedback:

• Criticism: These are attacks on a person’s character. There’s a significant difference between legitimate complaints phrased in descriptive “I” language (“I wish you had been on time—we’re going to be late to the movie”) and critical character assaults stated as evaluative “you” messages (“You’re so thoughtless—you never think of anyone but yourself”).
• Defensiveness: Defensiveness is a reaction that aims to protect one’s presenting self by denying responsibility (“You’re crazy—I never do that”) and counterattacking (“You’re worse about that than I am”). Although some self-protection is understandable, problems arise when a person refuses to listen to or even acknowledge another’s concerns.
• Contempt: A contemptuous comment belittles and demeans. It can take the form of name-calling putdowns (“You’re a real jerk”) or sarcastic barbs (“Oh, that was brilliant”). Contempt can also be communicated nonverbally through dramatic eye rolls or disgusted sighs. (Doing both of those at the same time is especially contemptuous.) Stonewalling: Stonewalling occurs when one person in a relationship withdraws from the interaction, shutting down dialogue by storming out of the room or refusing to respond. This reduces the likelihood of resolving the problem in a mutually satisfactory way while sending a disconfirming “you don’t matter” message to the other person.
• Page reference: 12.3.3 Toxic Conflict: The “Four Horsemen”

Type: essay/short answer question

Title: Chapter 10 Question 61

61) Describe the 7 steps in the win-win approach to conflict management.

Feedback:

1. Define your needs: Begin by deciding what you want or need. Sometimes the answer is obvious; sometimes, the apparent problem masks a more fundamental one.
2. Share your needs with the other person:Once you’ve defined your needs, it’s time to share them with your partner at a suitable time and place. Use descriptive “I” language or, in a tense situation, begin with ritual sharing, which is preliminary, casual conversation.
3. Listen to the other person’s needs: This phase, which may take some time, requires active listening and paraphrasing skills.
4. Generate possible solutions: In this step, the possible solutions are reviewed for their ability to satisfy everyone’s important goals.
5. Evaluate the possible solutions, and choose the best one: At this stage, partners need to work cooperatively in examining each solution and in finally selecting the best one—or perhaps some combination of ideas.
6. Implement the solution: Here you try out the idea selected to see if it does, indeed, satisfy everyone’s needs.
7. Follow up on the solution: Because people and circumstances change, a follow-up evaluation needs to take place.

• Page reference: 12.4 Conflict Management in Practice