CHAPTER 9: Communicating With Romantic Partners

MULTIPLE CHOICE

1. By definition, ___________ requires that we express ourselves personally through physical contact, shared experiences, intellectual sharing, and emotional disclosures.
2. similarity
3. family closeness
4. friendship
5. romantic intimacy
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. This model depicts five stages of intimacy development (coming together) and five stages in which people distance themselves from each other (coming apart).
2. Knapp’s developmental model
3. Knapp’s maintenance model
4. The structural intimacy model
5. The relational intimacy model
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. The ___________ stage is likely to involve a wedding, a commitment ceremony, or some other public means of communicating to the world that this is a relationship meant to last.
2. experimenting
3. intensifying
4. integrating
5. bonding
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. In this stage, truly interpersonal relationships develop as people begin to express how they feel about each other.
2. Experimenting
3. Intensifying
4. Integrating
5. Bonding
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. In the ___________ stage, communication decreases in quantity and quality.
2. circumscribing
3. stagnating
4. avoiding
5. integrating
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. Sofia and Christian have been dating for over a year. They’ve had their ups and downs, but they’ve been growing apart. Every time Sofia calls Christian, he makes the excuse, “I’ve been busy lately.” What stage are they likely in?
2. Circumscribing
3. Stagnating
4. Avoiding
5. Integrating
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. Lucas and Charlotte are married. They unenthusiastically repeat the same conversations and follow the same routines. What stage are they likely in?
2. Circumscribing
3. Stagnating
4. Avoiding
5. Integrating
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. Crystal and Noah have been getting acquainted through “small talk.” What stage are they likely in?
2. Initiating
3. Experimenting
4. Intensifying
5. Integrating
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. Alexander and Evelyn post pictures of themselves together on Facebook. They now move in many of the same social circles, have begun to share possessions, and they even have their own “song.” What stage are they likely in?
2. Initiating
3. Experimenting
4. Intensifying
5. Integrating
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. Stephan and Melanie recently had a disagreement. Rather than talk about it, they’ve each decided that they don’t have the energy to fight. As a result, they’ve spent less time together. When they do spend time together, they talk about the weather or work. There isn’t much emotion in their conversations. Choose which statement below best characterizes their relationship.
2. They are developing intimacy.
3. Their relationship is doomed.
4. Their relationship is terminated.
5. Their relationship is stagnated.
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Analyzing

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. Emma and David are on their second date together. They ask each other pleasant questions and are uncritical of each other, even when they don’t agree with each other. They talk about their jobs and tell funny stories. What stage are they likely in?
2. Initiating
3. Experimenting
4. Intensifying
5. Integrating
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

1. When it comes to intimacy, ______ typically value personal talk, while ______ often demonstrate caring by doing things for their partners and spending time with them.
2. men; women
3. women; men
4. older adults; younger adults
5. younger adults; older adults
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Gender and Intimacy
Objective: 9.2: Describe options for conveying intimate messages that tend to differ by gender.

1. Kenny is studying communication at college, and he knows that research tends to show how women value personal talk, and are more ready than men to share thoughts and feelings. So when his close friend Emma doesn’t call at the time she said, he is surprised and a little resentful. What fact about gender and intimacy best accounts for this scenario?
2. Men often demonstrate caring by doing things for their partners and spending time with them.
3. Until recently most social scientists believed that women were better at developing and maintaining intimate relationships than men.
4. Men are more likely to complain about what women do or don’t do in a behavioral sense.
5. Male–female differences aren’t as great as they seem.

Answer: C

Blooms: Analyzing

A-head: Gender and Intimacy
Objective: 9.2: Describe options for conveying intimate messages that tend to differ by gender.

1. When Elena told Andy, with whom she has been on a few dates, that she was not ready to consider physical closeness and intimacy before further discussing the emotional aspect of their growing relationship, what was she most likely indicating about gender and intimacy?
2. Many men tend to regard sex as a way to create intimacy.
3. Many women tend to regard personal talk as the pathway to intimacy.
4. Emotional expression isn’t the only way to develop close relationships.
5. Sometimes men may show their love in ways that some women might consider “just plain weird.”

Answer: B

Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Gender and Intimacy
Objective: 9.2: Describe options for conveying intimate messages that tend to differ by gender.

1. Research has suggested that long-term same-sex partners typically match up well in terms of supportive communication, emotional closeness, and the effort each partner puts into maintaining the relationship. Which option below best represents what this tells us?
2. Same-sex couples face mostly the same challenges as anyone else.
3. Male–female differences aren’t as great as they seem.
4. There has been an assumption that the most important ingredients of intimacy are sharing personal information and showing emotions.
5. It is suggested that while same-sex couples face mostly the same challenges as anyone else, they have probably been socialized to communicate in similar ways and to have similar expectations.

Answer: D

Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Gender and Intimacy
Objective: 9.2: Describe options for conveying intimate messages that tend to differ by gender.

1. This language includes compliments, thanks, and statements that express love and commitment.
2. Affirming words
3. Quality time
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. This language may involve a hug, a kiss, a pat on the back, or having sex.
2. Affirming words
3. Quality time
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. With this language, people may show love by performing favors such as caring for each other when they are sick, doing the dishes, making meals, and so on.
2. Affirming words
3. Quality time
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. By engaging in _______________, some people show love by completing tasks together, talking, or engaging in some other mutually enjoyable activity.
2. affirming words
3. quality time
4. acts of service
5. gifts

Answer: B
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. The Golden Rule—that we should do unto others as we would have them do unto us—can lead to misunderstandings when our partner’s primary _________ differs from our own.
2. thought pattern
3. focus
4. love language
5. language
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. Deshawn and Carol talk about the vacations they plan to take together and the enjoyment they’ll get out of it. It makes them feel closer together. What love language are they using?
2. Affirming words
3. Quality time
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. Michelle continues to flirt with Landon, although they’ve been married for 10 years. How would you categorize Michelle’s flirting?
2. Affirming words
3. Quality time
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. When Philippe sends roses to Melanie for Valentine’s Day, what love language is he using?
2. Affirming words
3. Quality time
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts

Answer: D
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. Shiloh brought Logan soup when he was sick. She wanted him to know she cared. She is using _______________.
2. affirming words
3. quality time
4. acts of service
5. physical touch
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. Heather appreciates when Thomas shows intimacy towards her by making physical contact and rubbing her back. Because Heather appreciates that kind of intimacy, she often touches Thomas and rubs his back. How is Heather’s intimacy towards Thomas best characterized?
2. The way she shows intimacy towards Thomas is appropriate.
3. The way she shows intimacy towards Thomas is inappropriate.
4. The way she shows intimacy towards Thomas may or may not be appropriate. She should understand his primary love language.
5. She is following the Golden Rule, which dictates the appropriate behavior.
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Analyzing

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. Committed couples report that sharing daily tasks is the most frequent way they show their love and commitment. Each person must contribute in exactly the same way in order to have an overall sense that they are putting forth equal effort is essential to long-term happiness. Read through the description above and decide which answer below is correct.
2. The word “Committed” should be replaced with “Intimate.”
3. The line “Committed couples report that sharing daily tasks is the most frequent way they show their love” should be replaced with “Happy couples report that experiencing daily tasks is the most important way they show their love.”
4. The line “way they show their love and commitment” should be replaced with “way they display intimacy.”
5. The phrase “Each person must contribute in exactly the same way in order to have” should be replaced with “Although each person need not contribute in exactly the same ways.”
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Analyzing

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. Blake has been spending a lot of time with Rachel. He also helps her with her yard work whenever she needs it. He doesn’t really share very much personal information with her or show emotions. Which statement below best characterizes their relationship?
2. Blake is not intimate with Rachel.
3. Blake is showing intimacy by spending time with and doing things for Rachel.
4. Blake is shut off from Rachel.
5. If Blake better understood intimacy, he would disclose more personal information and show more emotions.
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Analyzing

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

1. The ____________ suggests that relational partners must continually struggle to manage opposing or incompatible forces, both within themselves and with one another.
2. developmental model
3. management model
4. Knapp model
5. dialectical model
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Dialectical Perspective

Objective: 9.4: Explain dialectical continua and strategies for managing them.

1. The conflicting desires for connection and independence are embodied in the _____________ dialectic.
2. independence-association
3. predictability-novelty
4. openness-privacy
5. connection-autonomy
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Dialectical Perspective

Objective: 9.4: Explain dialectical continua and strategies for managing them.

1. Sophia shares most things with her partner, Jack. However, there are times when Sophia wants to maintain some emotional space from Jack and so she doesn’t tell him everything she talks to her girlfriend, Elsa, about. Which dialectical tension does this illustrate?
2. Independence-association
3. Predictability-novelty
4. Openness-privacy
5. Connection-autonomy
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Dialectical Perspective

Objective: 9.4: Explain dialectical continua and strategies for managing them.

1. Hector proposed to Alex just before graduation. He likely did this because of the uncertainty facing them during this next phase in their lives. Which dialectical tension does this illustrate?
2. Independence-association
3. Predictability-novelty
4. Openness-privacy
5. Connection-autonomy
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Dialectical Perspective

Objective: 9.4: Explain dialectical continua and strategies for managing them.

1. Safia is sometimes frustrated because Amar spends all of his free time practicing martial arts and doesn’t seem to have any time to spend with her. However, instead of getting upset, Safia thinks to herself, “Well, at least he’s active and healthy, and he’ll be very happy when he gets his next belt.” Which means of managing dialectical tension does this illustrate?
2. Disorientation
3. Segmentation
4. Moderation
5. Reframing
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Dialectical Perspective

Objective: 9.4: Explain dialectical continua and strategies for managing them.

1. Eddie and Madeline are struggling with the connection-autonomy dialectic. In response, Eddie has given up all of his hobbies in an effort to spend all of his time with Madeline. Madeline demonstrates an equally extreme commitment to remaining independent from Eddie. Which means of managing dialectical tension does this illustrate?
2. Denial
3. Polarization
4. Alternation
5. Reframing
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Dialectical Perspective

Objective: 9.4: Explain dialectical continua and strategies for managing them.

1. When partners decide to spend most of their time apart during the week, but reserve their entire weekends for couple time, they are managing dialectical tension with the tactic called _______________.
2. denial
3. polarization
4. alternation
5. reframing

Answer: C

Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Dialectical Perspective

Objective: 9.4: Explain dialectical continua and strategies for managing them.

1. Deception intended to be non-malicious, or even helpful, to the person to whom it is directed is referred to as _____________.
2. an altruistic lie
3. an equivocation
4. an omission
5. a fabrication
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. A type of deception in which one person withholds information that another person deserves to know is referred to as _____________.
2. an altruistic lie
3. an equivocation
4. an omission
5. a fabrication
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. Statements that seek to bring about a desired response without asking for it directly are referred to as _____________.
2. altruistic lies
3. equivocations
4. omissions
5. hinting
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. A message in which a speaker deliberately misleads another person for the speaker’s own benefit is referred to as _____________.
2. an altruistic lie
3. an equivocation
4. a fabrication
5. a hint
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. A deliberately ambiguous statement with two or more equally plausible meanings is referred to as _____________.
2. an altruistic lie
3. an equivocation
4. an omission
5. a fabrication
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. Research shows that most people lie, on average, _____________ per day and even more when they meet someone new.
2. once or twice
3. twice or three times
4. three or four times
5. four or five times
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. Pam is ready to leave her boyfriend Ted’s house. She is tired and really wants to be at home, but she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, so she says, “Well, it’s getting late.” What type of deception did she use?
2. Fabrication
3. An equivocation
4. An omission
5. Hinting
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. Edwin has cooked dinner for Mariel. When he asks her how she liked it, she doesn’t want to tell him that she didn’t. Instead, she tells him, “It was good!” What of deception did she use?
2. An altruistic lie
3. An equivocation
4. An omission
5. A fabrication
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. Paco asks Ricardo if he had a good time at the beach with him. Ricardo did not. In response, he says, “It was interesting.” What of type deception did he use?
2. An altruistic lie
3. An equivocation
4. An omission
5. A fabrication
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. Jim tells Karen that he was just out with the guys, when in reality he went out with a woman he works with. What of type deception did he use?
2. An altruistic lie
3. An equivocation
4. An omission
5. A fabrication
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. Arthur comes out of the dressing room in an orange suit. He can wear any color suit he’d like at his job. Carolina does not like it at all, but says, “It looks really great!” Choose an option below that makes Carolina’s response more evasive.
2. “It looks pretty sharp!”
3. “That’s perfect!”
4. “It sure is different!”
5. “They don’t allow that color at work!”
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Analyzing

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

1. When a communicator expresses hostility in an ambiguous way, it’s called _____________.
2. a directly aggressive message
3. passive aggression
4. a nonassertive statement
5. being assertive
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Ways That Partners Express Conflict

Objective: 9.6: Compare and contrast methods of dealing with interpersonal conflict.

1. The inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a conflict is known as _____________.
2. a directly aggressive message
3. passive aggression
4. nonassertion
5. being assertive
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Ways That Partners Express Conflict

Objective: 9.6: Compare and contrast methods of dealing with interpersonal conflict.

1. Directly expressing your needs, thoughts, or feelings in a way that does not attack the other person’s dignity is known as _____________.
2. a directly aggressive message
3. passive aggression
4. nonassertion
5. being assertive
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Ways That Partners Express Conflict

Objective: 9.6: Compare and contrast methods of dealing with interpersonal conflict.

1. An expression of the sender’s thoughts or feelings that attacks the position or dignity of the receiver is known as _____________.
2. a directly aggressive message
3. passive aggression
4. nonassertion
5. being assertive
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Ways That Partners Express Conflict

Objective: 9.6: Compare and contrast methods of dealing with interpersonal conflict.

1. Sari walks into the house with a distressed look on her face. Her boyfriend Ishmael responds to her look by saying, “What did you do this time?!” Which style of expressing conflict did he use?
2. Passive aggression
3. Nonassertion
4. Assertion
5. Avoidance
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Ways That Partners Express Conflict

Objective: 9.6: Compare and contrast methods of dealing with interpersonal conflict.

1. Abbey tells her friend Mary, “You are so dumb. That was a really stupid thing you did.” Which style of expressing conflict did she use?
2. Direct aggression
3. Passive aggression
4. Nonassertion
5. Assertion
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Ways That Partners Express Conflict

Objective: 9.6: Compare and contrast methods of dealing with interpersonal conflict.

1. Bob tells Elise, “I notice that you bristle every time we talk about having another baby. I realize I’m not always as understanding as I should be. I’d like to talk to you about it openly. Is there anything we can do to make the conversation less stressful for you?” Which style of expressing conflict did he use?
2. Direct aggression
3. Passive aggression
4. Nonassertion
5. Assertion
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Ways That Partners Express Conflict

Objective: 9.6: Compare and contrast methods of dealing with interpersonal conflict.

1. Expressions of __________ may be explicit, but more commonly they’re expressed nonverbally: by facial nonverbal cues such as sneering and eye-rolling, and by a condescending or mocking tone of voice.
2. criticism
3. contempt
4. nonassertion
5. defensiveness
   

Answer: B
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Conflict Patterns That Destroy Relationships

Objective: 9.7: Describe the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” in terms of conflict management.

1. Arguably one of the more harmful disconfirming messages is ____________ - a form of avoidance in which one person refuses to engage with the other.
2. criticism
3. contempt
4. stonewalling
5. defensiveness
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Conflict Patterns That Destroy Relationships

Objective: 9.7: Describe the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” in terms of conflict management.

1. Eric responds to his partner’s disapproval with counterattacks. “You’re calling me messy? You’re the one who never cleans up your plates after dinner!” Which of the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” does this illustrate?
2. Criticism
3. Contempt
4. Stonewalling
5. Defensiveness
   

Answer: D
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Conflict Patterns That Destroy Relationships

Objective: 9.7: Describe the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” in terms of conflict management.

1. Sarah attacks her partner, Brian, when he comes home late from work. “You only ever think about yourself. I worked hard at making you a hot dinner and now it’s cold. You never show me respect.” Which of the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” does this illustrate?
2. Criticism
3. Contempt
4. Stonewalling
5. Defensiveness
   

Answer: A
Blooms: Remembering

A-head: Conflict Patterns That Destroy Relationships

Objective: 9.7: Describe the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” in terms of conflict management.

1. Which of the options below expresses contempt?
2. “You think you’re the only person who’s ever right!”
3. A sneer and an eye roll.
4. “You say I’m the problem? You’re the one that’s always screwing up!”
5. Giving the “silent treatment.”

Answer: B
Blooms: Analyzing

A-head: Conflict Patterns That Destroy Relationships

Objective: 9.7: Describe the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” in terms of conflict management.

1. Which tactic applies to win-win problem solving?
2. Always follow a precise step-by-step approach.
3. Satisfy your partner’s needs before your own.
4. Practice the recommended approach a few times until you are comfortable with it.
5. First, identify your partner’s problem.

Answer: C
Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Applying Win-Win Problem Solving

Objective: 9.8: Identify the steps and communication skills involved in win-win problem solving.

1. Andrea has always been bothered by her husband Ronnie’s habit of snoring at night. Adopting a win-win approach to the issue, she decides that because she is bothered, this particular issue is her problem. Which stage in the win-win problem strategy has she identified?
2. Identify your problem and unmet needs.
3. Check your partner’s understanding.
4. Solicit your partner’s needs.
5. Negotiate a solution.

Answer: A

Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Applying Win-Win Problem Solving

Objective: 9.8: Identify the steps and communication skills involved in win-win problem solving.

1. Andrea has always been bothered by her husband, Ronnie’s, habit of snoring at night. Adopting a win-win approach to the issue, she says, “I know you can’t help snoring, but although I’ve never mentioned it before, it’s now really causing me to lose a lot of sleep.” Which stage in the win-win problem strategy has she identified?
2. Make a date.
3. Check your partner’s understanding.
4. Solicit your partner’s needs.
5. Describe your problem and needs.

Answer: D

Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Applying Win-Win Problem Solving

Objective: 9.8: Identify the steps and communication skills involved in win-win problem solving.

1. When you have reached the stage of negotiating the solution to an issue in win-win-problem solving, it is advisable first of all to _______________.
2. paraphrase your partner’s needs
3. try to develop as many potential solutions as possible
4. find out what your partner needs to feel satisfied about the issue
5. check your partner’s understanding

Answer: B

Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Applying Win-Win Problem Solving

Objective: 9.8: Identify the steps and communication skills involved in win-win problem solving.

1. Which of the following statements about win-win problem solving is true?
2. There will be times when even the best-intentioned people simply won’t be able to find a way of meeting all their needs.
3. If no solution can be found, it is best to give up trying.
4. Negotiating a solution is the final stage in win-win problem solving.
5. Win-win problem solving is a very loosely structured activity.

Answer: A

Blooms: Understanding

A-head: Applying Win-Win Problem Solving

Objective: 9.8: Identify the steps and communication skills involved in win-win problem solving.

1. Brandt and Seena are out to dinner. Brandt is unhappy that Seena always complains about the cost of the bill. He wants to confront her by applying win-win problem-solving. Analyze the options below and choose the best one for Brandt to use.
2. “I know you always get stressed about the bill. Let’s talk about what bothers you.”
3. “We’re going to talk about why the cost of the bill is such a big deal.”
4. “I love going out to dinner with you and spending the time together. I know the cost of the bill bothers you, but it bothers me that it is such an issue when we’re having such quality time together.”
5. “I like to go out with you, but you never think about how your complaints and fuss over the bill affect me.”
   

Answer: C
Blooms: Analyzing

A-head: Applying Win-Win Problem Solving

Objective: 9.8: Identify the steps and communication skills involved in win-win problem solving.

SHORT ANSWER

64. Define romantic intimacy.

Answer: By definition, romantic intimacy requires that we express ourselves personally through physical contact, shared experiences, intellectual sharing, and emotional disclosures.

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

65. Name the five stages of coming together.

Answer: initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, and bonding.

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

66. Name the five love languages described in the chapter.

Answer: Affirming words, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch.

A-head: Speaking the Languages of Love

Objective: 9.3: Elaborate on the difference between popular love languages.

67. Name two types of self-serving lies.

Answer: omissions and fabrications.

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

68. Name the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”.

Answer: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

A-head: Conflict Patterns That Destroy Relationships

Objective: 9.7: Describe the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” in terms of conflict management.

ESSAY QUESTIONS

69. Explain the similarities and differences between male and female intimacy styles.

Main point: Males and females express intimacy in similar and different ways.

Answers must include:
a) Women typically value personal talk.

b) Women are more willing than men to share their thoughts and feelings.
c) Men show intimacy by doing things for their partners and spending time with them.

Answers may include:
a) Women tend to think of sex as a way to express intimacy that is already created.
b) Men tend to think of sex as a way to create intimacy.

A-head: Gender and Intimacy
Objective: 9.2: Describe options for conveying intimate messages that tend to differ by gender.

70. Compare Knapp’s developmental model with the dialectical model.

Main point: There are two models described in the chapter that are used to explain relational closeness and distance.

Answers must include:
a) The dialectical perspective is similar to the developmental model in that both focus on communication as a means of establishing relational closeness and distance.
b) The development model focuses on communication in particular stages.
c) The dialectical perspective addresses how partners use communication to negotiate opposing forces throughout their relationships.

Answers may include:
a) With the dialectical model, couples grapple with the same kinds of challenges, whether their relationships are brand new or have lasted decades.

b) The developmental model focuses on coming together and apart, while the dialectical model remains throughout the duration of relationships.

A-head: Stages of Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.1: Distinguish between stages of coming together, staying together, and coming apart as a romantic couple.

A-head: Dialectical Perspective

Objective: 9.4: Explain dialectical continua and strategies for managing them.

71. Identify and describe some key facts about deceit in romantic relationships.

Main point: Deception is common in romantic relationships.

Answers will vary, must include:
a) Partners are likely to experience deceit, even in their closest, most intimate relationships.

b) Most people lie, on average, once or twice per day, and even more when they meet someone new.
c) There are different types of deception: altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

Answers will vary, may include:
a) Self-serving lies can destroy trust.
b) Some couples rebound from serious deceptions, particularly if the lie involves an isolated incident and the wrongdoer’s apology seems sincere.

c) Gray lies, or evasions, are based on the belief that less clarity can be beneficial for the sender, the receiver, or sometimes both.

d) Altruistic lies are defined as being harmless or even helpful to the person to whom they are told.

A-head: Deception in Romantic Relationships

Objective: 9.5: Analyze the functions served by altruistic lies, evasions, and self-serving lies.

72. Describe some recommended ways to protect yourself and get help if you find yourself in an abusive relationship.

Main point: There are no magic communication formulas to prevent or stop abuse, but there are steps you can take to protect yourself and get help if you find yourself in an abusive relationship.

Answers must include:
a) Don’t keep abuse a secret.
b) Have a plan for defense.

d) Don’t blame yourself.

Answers may include:
a) Keep close contact and open communication with people you trust. Try to tell a trusted friend or family member what’s happening to you—and then ask that person to help you get help.
b) Let trusted people know where to find you. Program emergency numbers into your phone. Agree on code words, with people whom you trust, that signify you feel uneasy and need help.

c) Recipients of abuse often believe they are at fault for what is happening to them, and that somehow they deserve it or “had it coming.” Remember—no one deserves abuse.

A-head: Ways That Partners Express Conflict

Objective: 9.6: Compare and contrast methods of dealing with interpersonal conflict.

73. What is the best way to adopt a win-win approach to problem solving?

Main point: Win–win problem solving is typically the most satisfying and relationship- friendly means of resolving conflict, and ideally follows a sequence of stages.

Answers must include:

1. In win–win problem solving, the goal is a solution that satisfies both partners’ needs: neither tries to win at the other’s expense.
2. The recommended procedure is as follows: identify your problem and unmet needs; make a date; describe your problem and needs; check your partner’s understanding; solicit your partner’s needs; check your understanding; negotiate a solution; follow up on the solution.

Answers may include:

1. After you have practiced the approach a number of times, it will become more comfortable. You’ll then be able to approach conflicts without the need to follow the exact step-by-step approach presented here.
2. Win–win solutions aren’t always possible, but even then, the steps discussed here haven’t been wasted. A genuine desire to learn what the other person wants and to try to satisfy those desires will build a climate of goodwill that can help you improve your relationship.

A-head: Applying Win-Win Problem Solving

Objective: 9.8: